The Insidious Toxicity of Porn
Eyes Are The Windows To The Soul
As absurd as this might sound, there have been times in my life in which I felt like I was “meant” to make porn.
Because of my early exposure to it, the relationships I gravitated towards (both romantic and platonic), how it’s become culturally normalized, and telling myself I was viewing it in an “artistic appreciation” capacity…you know, just appreciating the beauty of the nude feminine form like admiring a waterfall or a sunset…I really thought there could be a benefit for creating a weird niche. Even as I was returning to my faith from a long prodigal journey through atheism, I foolishly thought:
“Well, if all our sins are covered by the blood of Christ, shouldn’t I be able to…?”
I’ve since realized this was a deep spiritual deception.
I came across Romans 6 at such a perfect time, it felt as if Paul foresaw my foolishness from over a millennium away.
I’ve written before, arguably in error, about the moral grey areas of sex work and pornography, how charitable contributions from OnlyFans stars and ecological conservation promotions through PornHub have added a bizarre angle to smut. I’ve even gone as far to suggest that pornography could be utilized to an overall net positive.
I’m doubtful that’s even a remote possibility anymore.
Even if you have no belief in the Bible, God, or spirituality of any kind, I hope that this article will help you in quelling this toxic habit. If the spiritual-talk makes you tune out, feel free to skip to the end and just read the naturalistic/neurological points on the matter.
Once upon a time, I thought it would be possible, maybe even spiritually and psychologically beneficial, for there to be an ethically-informed, consent-emphasizing model of porn introduced into the zeitgeist, such that it would be almost self-defeating in a sense — encouraging young men to work on themselves to a degree that they would be able to engage with women they wanted to see themselves with in a bedroom scenario, instead of feeding the idea of their own unworthiness of pursuing such endeavors. Subliminally inserting ideas of exercising, affirming consent, maybe even prayer/meditation, into the videos themselves to eventually turn the viewers towards God instead of self- and lust-based worship.
Might this concept have been coaxed by my own lustful desires, aversion to commitment, and childhood traumas?
Absolutely, no argument there.
Unfortunately, there are a variety of sneaky, subtle problems with this idea, no matter how well-intentioned or artfully-executed.
Fellow Medium user Thomas Woythal has an excellently articulated piece entitled Is Masturbation a Sin? that lays out how the personal exploration of one’s God-given erogenous zones is not necessarily wickedness in and of itself, and while I don’t agree with 100% of the application of scriptural content, he certainly makes some cogent points.
The biggest point that I do agree with, which I also highlighted in my “7 (8?) Deadly Sins” YouTube video, is that lust does not equate simply to the experience of sexual feelings for another individual.
We’d have gone extinct a long time ago if sex itself was just an intrinsically filthy or wicked act.
It’s worth mentioning that at no point in the aforementioned article does Thomas commend or encourage the use of visual stimuli — though as a child of the Internet age, I’ve admittedly had difficulty separating one act from the other.
A large part of my struggle was with the matter of consent. While the use of imagination is important, using it in that way seems ethically… dicey; although the lovely lady online definitely knows what the video she’s making is going to be used for, that lovely lady at work, from the grocery store, or wherever, probably wouldn’t be cool with being treated in the way that gets you off in your mind.
However, there is no conceivable way for pornography to exist in our current paradigm without encouraging lust (i.e. the sexual objectification of the individual) and deteriorating the mind and soul’s wellbeing.
“Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!” — Matthew 6:22–23 NLT
I know it might seem like a bit dualistic, maybe even dissonant, to make a statement like: “Sex is God’s, but Porn is Satan’s” since obviously the latter couldn’t exist without the former, but it’s the corruption of money by commodification, the sexual objectification of the image of a child of God, the quagmire of time spent, the broken homes that produce the majority of individuals willing to create this content, and reducing the fundamentally sacred act of sex to a transactional financial service which makes this distinction so important.
When I call sex “fundamentally sacred”, I don’t mean that it must exclusively be experienced in state-sanctioned matrimonial bonds—God knows I’m in no position to throw stones. It should be had in love rather than merely lust, though. The results of “abstinence-only” education tends to be even further from the intended hopes. Rather, sex is one of the most direct connections to divine unity that one can experience in a physical body. Not to encourage fornication, but adultery, by definition, requires someone violating their marriage vows. “Until death do us part,” and all that.
There are good reasons why it’s supposed to be had within the context of a committed marriage — reasons I’m experiencing all too viscerally as a single dad. But if you’re healthy, consenting adults…you know, make your own informed decisions.
“But I’m not hurting anybody in the comfort of my own room,” one might argue, as I once did with my own conscience.
When you visually engage and put your sexual energy towards this material, you’re effectively giving your permission — not only toward the viewing of it itself, but also toward the circumstances that precipitated that actress in that position. When you imagine someone attractive in a way that helps — *ahem* — facilitate the process, you’re not necessarily involving them in any way that actually impacts them, unless you foolishly make the socially unacceptable request for their consent to do that in advance.
That’d probably make them pretty uncomfortable.
The kind of childhood and experiences that lead a woman toward that line of work aren’t the kind I want to put my energy towards perpetuating. It comes at too high of a cost for me.
For the Nonbeliever:
Even if you put no stock in spirituality, the “woo-woo” of the energy talk, or even God’s existence, one can still make a pretty good case for indulging in pornography being detrimental to you psychologically, physiologically, and interpersonally.
If you’re in a relationship, and your partner says, “It’s okay if you do,” that doesn’t necessarily mean that it is. I’ve been in such a relationship, and it ultimately didn’t matter what was said — the negative effects were still present. Both the user and the user’s partner can experience negative effects from indulging in pornography, even casually. It erodes trust, complicates communication, and sexually desensitizes the individual engaging with it.
Don’t think I’m qualified to make these sorts of claims with my lack of degree and only anecdotal evidence? Don’t just take it from me, then.
Andrew Huberman, for example, is a renowned neuroscientist with a PhD and a significant social media following for his podcast appearances and his own: “Huberman Lab”. Without involving any kind of spiritual component, Dr. Huberman has spoken on this subject a number of times.
Pornographic self-indulgence rewires your dopamine receptors, steadily decreasing the pleasure one receives from engaging in the behavior, and adversely affect one’s hormonal balance. It can also train one’s brain to experience arousal only voyeuristically rather than as a participant, leading to porn-induced erectile dysfunction.
If that’s not a good enough reason to stop watching it, I don’t know what would be.
Resources:
Boundless — This is Your Brain On Porn
Andrew Huberman — How Do Masturbation and Porn Affect My Brain?
Utah State University — Effects of Pornography on Relationships
If this helped encourage you to quit watching pornography, please consider donating/tipping the author, instead of the OnlyFans content creator:
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