I resonate with so much of what you've shared here, John. I spent much of my adolescence as an atheist, and much of my 20's wrestling with faith, exploring other religions as possible alternatives, and still overintellectualizing what can't be comprehended rationally.

I pray we both find peace.

https://medium.com/@the-dropout-professor/is-there-a-knowable-truth-c9d4221e5e6d