Are We Even Alive?
Did The World End Without Us Noticing?
“If You Die Before You Die, Then You Won’t Die When You Die.”
— Epigram from the gateway of St. Paul’s Monastery on Mt. Athos in Greece
I realize this might sound like a stupid question on its face.
“Of course I’m alive! I have a pulse, I’m taking breaths, I eat and drink!” you may respond indignantly. “There have been DOZENS of apocalypse movies since War of the Worlds being read on the radio scared the pants off everyone in 1938! You’re just a fear-monger! Delusional schizoid!”
Sure, whatever, I’ve heard worse.
But humor me for a moment…
If you have any belief in there even potentially being an afterlife… do you believe your consciousness would occupy a body there, and isn’t it consequential whether or not you would?
Remember when it felt like the world was ending during COVID?
I mean, I was working my ass off as a phlebotomist the whole time, so never quite hit like that for me.
But maybe it did, kind of. I think we call all agree, at least, everything’s gotten more and more bizarre post-pandemic — culturally, politically, interpersonally, everything feels…off.
How much have you merged your conscious awareness with that of your little pocket computer?
Medium user Merging Into Oneness describes an encounter in their story “A Phone Call From Heaven” in which they received a rather spooky phone call from their departed mother. They have a beautifully poetic interpretation, despite the strangeness of this incident, but it still calls plenty of what we call “reality” into question.
Many have predicted “The End Times” over and over and over.
(Sorry, Daniel Larimer. It’s going to be okay. Probably…eventually…maybe?)
But nuclear war has seemed to be legitimate possibility for a while. My grandparents’ generation was taught to hide under their school desks in case the Russians ever decided to launch their nukes, as if that was an effective means of protection.
The ultra-rich are spending exorbitantly constructing ‘safehouses’ which, if they’d just put those funds towards people being paid fair wages and enriching society’s values instead, might never become necessary.
As I’ve detailed previously, I’ve had some bizarre encounters with the Jungian concept of synchronicity that led me to question my preconceptions of what “reality” truly means… but the New Age-y explanation of “you create your own reality” begs the question:
Why am I experiencing a “reality” that I do not want to be experiencing?
My mom had thyroid cancer when she was pregnant with me, and got a significant portion of it removed. Tragically, it returned when she became pregnant with my younger sister, resulting in a surgery removing it entirely… so, since 1997, my Bible-believing mom’s been kept alive and functional by synthetic hormones. Pharmakeia?
My dad, on the other hand, has had an astonishing number of mishaps throughout my life, resulting in head and spinal injuries, plenty of which could have caused his demise if the timing of treatment had been differed even slightly. Most recently, one of his four heart valves had to be surgically replaced with a mechanical pump to keep him going — his heartbeat now audibly ticks from within his chest like some Poean “Telltale Heart” nightmarish Memento Mori.
So, both of my parents are being kept alive artificially…? Weird.
As for my step-parents — my stepdad needs a CPAP machine not to choke to death in his sleep, and my stepmom has Fabry disease, requiring regular infusions to prevent her blood itself from turning against her.
My grandpa’s been kept alive by a pacemaker since around 2014. Hardly the most unusual thing but…still…?
Basically all of my older family members are only alive through synthetic means — yet, all of these people purportedly believe in Heaven, and that Jesus Christ will absolve them of all wrongdoing committed in life, bringing them past the pearly gates after their earthly demise and into eternal bliss. So why are they clinging so hard to bills, TV shows, social media, and grocery shopping instead?
Well, people in glass houses, so the saying goes…
There’s a fair possibility had it not been for the cocktail of anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, mood stabilizers, etc., I’d been prescribed throughout my adolescence, there’s a fair chance I’d have taken the sad-boy express route out of this bodily existence, which is likely not the most secure route to Heaven.
Besides that, I’ve self-medicated with…*ahem*…a variety of other means… most of which ought not to be considered tremendously health-conscious or advisable.
As Matthew points out, “Pornography is Death”.
My daughter’s birth affidavit was signed by a “Ms. Posthumus-Lyons”, and her mother’s Facebook name was “Ghxst”. How many “coincidences” can I run headfirst into? What conclusion am I suppose to draw from all of this?
Did I believe in Christ too late? Was I too blasphemous as a nonbeliever? Did we all miss the Rapture? Are we in Limbo? Am I just crazy?
As I’ve mentioned before, I suspect there may be multiple concurrent timelines, and the possibilities that this opens up are multitudinous, to say the least. I certainly didn’t consciously, willingly, or knowingly consent to being a part of whatever this is.
Topping all that off, whether or not you “believe” in gravity, if you jump out a window, are you going to fall?
